


The Old lovers' song

by borntoklaine



Category: Glee
Genre: Drabble, Drama, Future Fic, M/M, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-03
Updated: 2012-03-03
Packaged: 2017-11-01 02:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/350802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borntoklaine/pseuds/borntoklaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been 37 years. 37 long, mad years. And 30 years of marriage. That's why they were here. That's why Blaine was currently sitting in the middle of a room full of every people he ever knew, and even people he didn't knew, being serenated by his lover.</p>
<p>Just a quick angsty and fluffly drabble inspired by the french song, "la chanson des vieux amants" (translated here), by Jacques Brel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Old lovers' song

**_Of course, we had storms_ **

Of course, they had storms. After all, they had been struck by lightening, the very first time they had met in that staircase, so many years ago. It had left them marked, breathless, even though Kurt would have gladly told everybody that he had been the only one immediately smitten. But his lover knew otherwise. When he had turned in that staircase, looking at this beautiful lost boy, something had clicked inside him. It just took longer for the oblivious man to figure that it was the hit of love. A strong, mad, devastating love.

**_Twenty years of love, it's mad love_ **

It had been way more than twenty years of mad love. It felt for Blaine, that he had been in love with the other man all his life. Like everything that had occurred before him never existed. His existence begun a Thursday afternoon, on the day of a bird’s death. Nothing before, neither life, nor loss, had existed.

It had been 37 years. 37 long, mad years. And 30 years of marriage. That’s why they were here. That’s why Blaine was currently sitting in the middle of a room full of every people he ever knew, and even people he didn’t knew, being serenated by his husband Kurt. Kurt, who had been so reluctant at first when Rachel proposed to throw this party. Kurt, who had come to hate public displays as he was already enough in the center of the media attention every single day. But they were no media tonight to bother the influential fashion designer. It was only him and Blaine and a hundred other friends. What they had come to call intimate.

And Kurt was in the center of the stage singing to him, like there was no tomorrow. He knew the song. It was a French song, he had heard some times before. He had never learn enough French to understand it though. But Kurt had assured him it was a beautiful song. He had roughly translated it to him so many, many years ago. Kurt once, said he would consider his life achieved if someday, in his life, he would hear this song, or someone would sing it to him. Because, he had said, that, then, he would know that he had done something right.  And now, Kurt was singing to him. In English. He had translated the song, so Blaine could fully understand the meaning behind every verse, every word. And Blaine was indeed hanging at this words.

**_A thousand times, you took your luggage_ **

It was true after all. They were celebrating their 30 years of marriage, but nobody said that it had been easy. That’s why Blaine was so surprised when Kurt agreed to this party. And more surprised because he was delivering his heart out to him, right here, in front of all those people. He had been so distant, much more distant than before, those past days, and they barely talked anymore. Partially because they had so much work and public obligations to attend to and partially because they just didn’t know what to say anymore. So they would sit on the couch, in the few rare moments they could be together, and not talk. Just sit, and stare. Blaine always though that it meant that they had grow tired of each other. That Kurt just didn’t need him anymore like he used to. That he had become so fiercely independent that having a man in his life was just convenient sometimes, and sometimes, not so much. They he didn’t need to make so much efforts anymore. That it was just enough to just sit and stare.

Because they had not always just seated and stared. They had been times where their strong characters had just got in the way of their life. When Kurt was too much of a diva, and Blaine was less and less incline to bear it. When he would yell, and smash doors, and pack a suitcase.

**_A thousand times, I left the nest_ **

When Kurt, too proud to apologize, would leave before Blaine finished to pack his stuff. When he would disappear from the face of earth and the papers. Where he would go to a place only he knew and bury himself for a couple of days.

But he always came back. He always apologized. And Blaine apologized too. And they got stronger. Both. Together. And they were better than before. But just for some time. It would happen again, and every time, it was messier.

 

**_And each piece of furniture remembers_ **

Kurt was still singing, and Blaine still taking in every word of it. And Kurt was smiling. And Blaine was smiling. But it was a sad smile. A smile full of blue tears. And apologetic smiles from red lips of a porcelain face. Because for both of them, this verse had a double meaning. It hold 2 parts of their lives. The first part when every furniture had served as a bed purpose. The best use for some of their furniture. They were cheap, had been bought in Kit at Ikea, were weirdly put in their tiny apartment in New York. They quite couldn’t move in that area, but they had never been more happy in their life. And that furniture remembered it. But not only the tireless sex. The tireless happiness also. The quick breakfasts, taken in that tiny kitchen, just before they got to school. There were there favorite moments. The kitchen was their favorite place. It’s in the kitchen were they told each other about their day, it’s in the kitchen, were they pretended to be a married couple and bake diner for their friends. It’s in the kitchen again, when Blaine got tired of pretending, and just got down on one knew, one morning, and asked Kurt to marry him. Kurt, who had been so surprised that he just let slip the plate of cake into the floor, where they finished themselves. The kitchen again when they decided to move on with their lives, their carriers, and just move out of the apartment. So they would have a bigger space for a spare room. Or a room for a kid. And then begun the second part of their lives.

**_In this cradleless bedroom_ **

And now, there are no more smiles, and no more happy memories they can hold on too. Kurt takes Blaine’s hand, where he’s seated, and squeezed it strongly. He says silently that, even though, he’ll always be there. Even though the cradle less bedroom. And even tough, what the lack of cradle brought with it. Even though, nothing was going to be the same anymore.

They tried. They tried hard. Adopting, surrogate mother. They did it all. But every time, something just came in the way. At first, they had hope. Kurt spent his time drawing sketches of baby outfits. And Blaine’s drawer was full of baby books. Full of baby names. And every room in their house was full of papers about adoption and other ways. And every time they were close of getting a baby of their own, every time Kurt re painted the nursery into blue or rose, every time Blaine had baby proofed the house, they would once again get disappointed. And at some point, the room just stayed purple, and the house just stayed baby proofed, and the papers just waited there to be thrown out, and the days just passed by without being noticed.

And Kurt couldn’t hold it anymore. The baby line project just got abandoned. And Blaine just got left away. And he just closed himself up. And they didn’t talk anymore. Or they fought.

**_The old storms' fits_ **

It seemed that suddenly Kurt’s voice was bitter. But he wasn’t upset with Blaine. He could never be upset with him. No, he was upset with himself. Upset because of the last time they had tried. He didn’t know why he had agreed to give it a last try. Because the mom was a nice teen, that was healthy, smart but had just made the worst mistake? Because she wanted to go to college and wanted nothing to hold her back? Because they knew, they had fallen so deep that she was their last chance. She had been for 8 months.

The room was pink once again. Kurt was sketching again. Blaine was bragging to anyone and everyone about how happy they were. He bragged for 8 month. And then he didn’t brag anymore. He didn’t talk anymore.

A stupid accident. They were both killed by a drunken driver. On the spot. The driver took 3 years. It took Blaine and Kurt way longer.

**_Nothing looked like anything_ **

**_You had lost your liking for water_ **

**_And I had lost mine for seduction_ **

Can you call it depression, when you still lived, talked, answered, created, but nothing tasted anything anymore? When you looked at each other, and even though you knew, somewhere that he felt the exact same thing, you just couldn’t understand him. When you looked miserable yourself and still you blamed the other one for being miserable all the time. When every time you had to talk, you’d end up fighting? When intimacy, didn’t mean a thing anymore. When nothing meant anything anymore.

Kurt just wasn’t as beautiful as before. He looked like nothing alike as before. For the first time, Blaine saw his flaws. Blaine even regretted at some point that he wasn’t heterosexual. He even blamed Kurt for not being a girl so they would have babies naturally. He blamed everyone around him for being himself gay. He just didn’t made any sense  anymore. And he couldn’t hold anymore of Kurt’s depression. Because the man just didn’t talk to him anymore. He avoided any contact with him. They were nothing alike anymore. Nothing they used to be.

But neither of them left this time. Why?

**_But my love My sweet, my tender, my wonderful love_ **

**_From the clear dawn until the end of the day_ **

**_I love you still, you know, I love you_ **

Oh right, because of that.

Because Kurt was now singing so strongly, so fiercely, so deeply, that every word meant so much more. Because he had the most beautiful smile upon his face, that had somehow washed away all the tears upon his cheeks. Because he was holding his hand, and he was pulling him in the center of the stage. Because his old lover, all gray hair, eye wrinkled was the most beautiful man ever. Because standing here, looking at him, serenading him with, what he could agree on was effectively the most beautiful song ever, was everything he could have asked for. Because being with him at the age of fifty, still strongly in love with him, like the very first day, wanting to kiss him, with butterfly in his stomach, like the very first day, in that Dalton common room, was more that he could have asked for. Because of everything they went through. Because it just made them stronger; Because somehow they got past it. Because one day they woke up, and the pain was a bit less strong, and they could think a bit more. And their love was overpowering their hurt. Just like that, they knew they would make it. It had been a hell of a ride, but if it brought them here, so, it was totally worth it.

****

**_I, I know all your spells_ **

**_You know all my charms_ **

**_You kept me from trap to trap_ **

**_I lost you from time to time_ **

They realized at some point that they had to fight again. It wasn’t something that they had to talk about. They both just knew. Of course it took them a long time. They knew each other so much that it was harder to surprise the other one. The thrill of the unknown in their debuts just wasn’t there anymore. They had to be more inventive, more seductive, more everything, to just keep making it. It had been hard, to reinvent themselves, to pretend a bit more. They grew tired of it after a while. Was it really worth living for?

Of course, it was worth it. It has always been worth it. Blaine could see it in Kurt’s eyes. He could hear it in his tone. Everybody could hear it in his song.

And Blaine felt better, for a moment. For a moment only because, the next verse was just ahead  of them.

Kurt stopped then a bit. Because, he knew what verses were coming. Because even if it hurt to sing it, he had too. Because after all, it didn’t matter, because they were here today. But it still hurt.

**_Of course, you took a few lovers_ **

**_Time had to be spent_ **

**_The body just has to exult_ **

Kurt had released Blaine’s hand a this point, but his eyes still gazed deeply his lover’s. He was telling him not to worry. That it was long forgiven. The tiny smile that was forming upon his face was almost a smug. He had win after all. Blaine could only smile back sheepishly. Like a child caught in mistake. But all he really wanted to do was to fall at his husband’s knees and apologize over and over again. Did he actually write the song? How did it fit so easily?

Blaine tough for a second that Kurt should have wished for an other song, because he actually got every part of this one true. Blaine had indeed cheated on him. And he wasn’t proud of it. After 20 years, he still had rumors about it. Why did he do it? Because of time, because of the body? Maybe. Surely.

Because Kurt was a sobbing mess. Or an empty body? Because sometimes he just felt like not fighting anymore? Because he felt, like every time he took a step forward, Kurt would take 2 steps back. But Blaine knew, that he should have fought harder. Took 2 steps furthers. Carried Kurt with him. Anything else. Everything else.

But he was a man. And flawed man. And he made mistakes. But in a way, he was glad to have made those mistakes. Even Kurt didn’t mind so much at the end. He really never talked about it. But Blaine always knew that Kurt knew. And today he had the confirmation. Finally, he felt some relieve upon his heart.

Kurt didn’t mind so much, because Kurt would admit that, at those times, it wasn’t really him, that Blaine cheated. Because Kurt had ceased to exist for some time. He was just a ghost who vaguely resembled what he used to be. And Blaine was sick of the ghost. But Kurt didn’t mind that much because Blaine never got away. He kept coming back.

And Blaine, not willing to let go of Kurt’s hand, took it back again. He wanted to say that he would never leave him again. But Kurt knew. Blaine could never leave him because Blaine had went away to see what was life outside Kurt Hummel. And Blaine, if you asked him, would tell you it sucked. By checking outside, he just realized what he had inside. What he was so blind that he couldn’t see. The ghost that his eyes use to pass through wasn’t a ghost. If he just looked enough, the ghost would turn once again into a beautiful man. And he did. That’s why Kurt was so smug. And didn’t care anymore. Hell, he was fifty something, he shouldn’t be wasting time to care about thing that happened over 2 decades ago.

They had so much still to share, and no time to waste. Blaine had came back to his senses, Kurt to his. They were stronger than before. But also, by working so hard, they had managed to keep things interested between them.

**_In the end, In the end_ **

**_It took us much talent_ **

**_To be old without being adults_ **

And they both grinned like mad kids at this. And Kurt stuck his tongue at Blaine. And Blaine pouted like a cute puppy. And the whole room chuckled. And they knew they had made it.

They were not a mature couple. They had been trying to stay as fresh and new as the first day. And maybe it was because  so many obstacles had to come in their way, that they never settled into a monotone existence. Not really. Because they had to reinvent themselves. Charm the other one over and over again. Renew the old flame. Never be boring again.

They were everything but boring. They were everything but old. And they were everything in love.

**_But my love_ **

**_My sweet, my tender, my wonderful love_ **

**_From the clear dawn until the end of the day_ **

**_I love you still, you know, I love you_ **

****

**_Oh, my love My sweet, my tender, my wonderful love_ **

**_From the clear dawn until the end of the day_ **

**_I love you still, you know, I love you_ **

****

And Blaine couldn’t wait for the song to end. Because even he was old, eve, if they said that he was a grown up man, he was really well incline now to be anything but a responsible adult. But Kurt was still singing, and Blaine, was still not breathing.

How many time, have he heard Kurt sing over the years. Too many, that how, would have answered Blaine a few moments ago. But now, he was too lost in his voice. His lover’s voice who had never sounded so deep so pure, Blaine could swear. It was a voice of pure emotion.

Kurt wasn’t hiding anymore. He didn’t care anymore about his image. About the composed face that he was wearing for everyone who wasn’t Blaine, or his best friends. His was true. He was singing with all he had. And no restrain, especially not that.

 

**_And the more time goes along with us_ **

**_And the more time torments us_ **

Of course, they may be acting still like teenagers from time to time, but the world, the time, hadn’t speared them. They were fifty and each one of them, and still, each one of this room, could tell, that they never looked so beautiful. The challenges of life had marked them, but in the best way possible. Every wrinkle, every gray hear told the story of their lives. Their whole history was written in their figures. Every one could see what they had been through but also what they had win over it. They had took the best of it, and it showed now all over their faces. Their smiles were more pronounced. More real. More everything. And every expression hold something else. It hold every other feeling they ever had. Bad or good, it didn’t matter now. They had a lot to share and a lot to live.

**_But is it not the worst trap_ **

**_To live peacefully for lovers?_ **

Kurt didn’t need to ask. He didn’t ask really. He simply sung it like a statement. Because both of them knew that they wouldn’t be there today, if it wasn’t for all they have been through. Together. They were together still because Kurt was a diva, because Blaine was flawed also. Like Rachel was still together with Finn because she was every day more annoying and more lovely. Because they all had tempers even if the other one knew how to tame him. But he just wouldn’t. He wouldn’t tame his lover. It would be taming their relation. It would be settling into a meaningless life of habits and conventions.

Even though they were married, they had never considered themselves as a normal couple. They just got married because they could. Because they had too also to have a child. Who they didn’t have. So married life had no meaning after that. There was no child to keep the institution going. They had to reinvent themselves as something more. But neither of them liked labels. Lovers was the best compromise. Because they shouldn’t be defined as anything if not people who were just in love.

And madly. Even sickly. Too strongly, people said. It would bring him down, they said. Passion could kill. But hell, they didn’t care. They might have faded from time to time, but the fire renew itself from time to time and it only burnt stronger.

**_Of course, you cry a little less early_ **

**_I go off the deep end a little later_ **

**_We protect less our mysteries_ **

**_We let less chance do_ **

**_We are wary of the water flow_ **

But yeah of course, they were not twenty anymore. There wasn’t just the two of them against the world anymore. They had way less to fight against it. People considered them as a normal couple now. So they had to fight for something else. They fought for their carriers, and for their future. Blaine fought to be a recognized writer and Kurt fought for his clothes. And they had made it, and they had then to fight against the media again. All this fights, had tired them. They didn’t challenge themselves any longer like they used too. The fire was still burning but slowing in intensity.

Passion wasn’t a option anymore. They still loved in each other but the raging fire was too much to bare. The tears too much tiring. the drama too heavy for two mature active men. There was no more time to surprise the other one, to keep things new. They knew too much already from the other. They knew everything and they just felt that it was enough. That they could just come home from work, and sit on the couch, stare without talk.

But as Kurt sang those lines, without any regret whatsoever in his voice, Blaine could finally tell that it wasn’t something to regret. Not at all. It was only the beginning of the third part of their life. And he will make damn sure that it would be the best. They knew everything about the other. Was it so bad? No. It just meant that it would be easier. Not like they wouldn’t have to make efforts anymore, because they would always, but just that it would feel a lot more natural. To just give the other one exactly what he needed.

And then Blaine though that they may have been sitting and staring in silence, but maybe, it wasn’t because they had nothing to say. Maybe it was because they just didn’t need it. They just didn’t need to talk to be with each others. Because they were beyond words, they had always been beyond words. And now, that they had shared so much, they would just have to sit with each other, knowing exactly what the other was thinking and feel it too. They would just cuddle if possible, now that they knew that it their relationship wasn’t lacking anything, but in the contrary, was full of a thousands lives.

And Kurt was singing so softly, so tenderly, it made Blaine’s heart ache in hurt. Hurt because he felt so much love. And Kurt was still holding his hand, and it hurt also because he never wanted to let go of it, and he knew that someday he might have to.

But Kurt was smiling at him. Comforting him. Indeed there were no more mysteries surrounding them. They knew everything. And Kurt knew that Blaine was scarred. So he took a deep breath, and he sung the last verse more strongly than ever. He put it all in. Everyone was hearing him. The world was hanging at his every sound. But all he really needed was Blaine to hear.

**_But it is still A Loving War_ **

Don’t worry my love, we will never be boring. That’s what Kurt meant to said, and that’s what Blaine heard. Right there, they promised each other, even if they were fifty something, they would never settle for easy way. They were too proud anyway for any of that. They would never just give up because it would be too hard and go for the easy way out. They would never give up when a challenge would come knocking at their door. They would do it all. But when they wouldn’t have to, when there would be nothing to challenge them, it would be good to just stay and still. Sit together and stare. But they would never forget that it was because they chose it, and not because of life. Just because they loved each other, and all they needed really, was the other one.

**_But my love My sweet, my tender, my wonderful love_ **

**_From the clear dawn until the end of the day_ **

**_I love you still, you know, I love you_ **

And Kurt was now on his knees, almost crying with joy, and memories and a lot other stuff that Blaine could only guess. He was crying too. Because he finally understood what it was all about. What they had been sharing all these years. And he knew now that their love never faded away. Life came and went and their love remained. It just got altered with time, changed forms, as they changed, but it got better.

**_Oh, my love..._ **

**_My sweet, my tender, my wonderful love_ **

**_From the clear dawn until the end of the day_ **

**_I love you still, you know, I love you_ **

****

And with a last single note, the song ended. And Blaine went deaf. The room might have clapped it heart out. The people might have stood and cheered. But Blaine was on his knees, as the realization struck him. He was able to keep this man in front of him forever. No matter what, they would get through it together. It wasn’t the boring part of their lives that came ahead of them, but the most stimulating one. The one where everything was reinvented was themselves and in the same time, they would remain the same.

Nothing really mattered anymore to Blaine but his lover, kneeled in front of him. He didn’t stop to think about the hundred persons that were seated behind him, or the band that started to play the cheesiest song ever. He just took Kurt’s face in his hands, and kissed him with a passion that might have put the room on fire. He would have noticed. Kurt neither. Because they were right. They might have been fifty, they might have been through a lot, they might came home tired from work, and just sit and stare, without anyone of them wanting to talk, they might begin a new stage of their life, where people would say they would just be a old married couple, but they knew it didn’t matter, and it wasn’t even true. Because the passion that was in that kiss was nothing like they have experienced before. It was new and overwhelming. And the way their tongues fought for dominance, just prove the point.

**It was still a Loving war.**


End file.
